


Forgiveness in my Heart

by ByAStream



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 21:33:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23000743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByAStream/pseuds/ByAStream
Summary: You take a trip down memory lane, remembering better times
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Forgiveness in my Heart

Cinnamon, Old Spice, and mint always pulled you into memories you sometimes wished you could forget. You remembered the day you met him. You had been on the beach in Jersey, the early Autumn air chasing most people away. You lived in Jersey, worked in Manhattan for Stark Industries. You never expected an Avenger to show up to the beach in the middle of October. You rarely saw them, outside of Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner. Occasionally you saw Sergeant Barnes when his arm needed an adjustment. Mr. Stark had spoken to you about potentially moving to the Avengers compound to work there, with him and Dr. Banner, but you weren’t sure. 

You had grown up in a small town, where people talked about the most minute things about others. The beach wasn’t far from your house, less than five miles. Living at home beat paying the cost of rent, be it in the city or in the area where you grew up. You were letting the water lap at your feet, despite the chill in the air and in the water. You had pulled your socks and shoes off the second you got there. It was a Sunday, the sun starting to peek over the horizon. The beach at sunrise was your happy place. 

You were surprised when he sat down beside you, not saying a word. But you could smell the familiar scent. You had helped Dr. Banner with Sergeant Barnes’ arm on a few occasions. He reminded you an awful lot of the guys your mother would hate. His past didn’t help matters. You knew how your family viewed him. In the few conversations you’d had with him while working, you saw something else. He was slowly breaking out of the shell he had. 

You remembered looking at him when he sat down beside you, your face betrayed your surprise, your curiosity. He gave you a small smile when he looked at you. 

“You mentioned coming to the beach to clear your head sometimes. I used to come down here as a kid sometimes. It was different then,” he had said. You had smiled at him. 

“So you were a Benny then?” you asked playfully. 

“A what?” he had asked. 

“Benny...some people say it stands for Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark, and New York. No matter what the origin, it’s people who aren’t from here. Tourists. Shoobies. Just...a lot meaner,” you had told him with a laugh. The two of you had sat there for a while talking. A routine had started when he wasn’t on missions, until you moved into the compound.

To him, you had been innocence personified. He saw the looks the two of you had gotten when you brought him to get “the best damn pizza on the Jersey Shore” in your hometown. Disapproval was obvious. The whispers that followed were worse. He could hear those. At least with the looks on peoples’ faces, he didn’t have to acknowledge the thoughts they were probably having about him. Someone like you, willingly with someone like him was something your small town could not stand behind. 

You remembered the first night the two of you had slept together. No, the first night the two of you made love. To say it was anything else made it too crude, made a mockery of what you had felt that night and every night after. It had been after you moved into the compound. An accident in the lab had left you slightly injured, but it could have been much worse. You had always assumed it would be Bucky getting injured that would cause the first moment of terror at the thought of losing the other in your relationship, but you had been wrong.

That night, Bucky carried you from the med bay to his room, where he had lit candles. He ran a bath and had helped you undress and ease into the water. You had asked him to join you. He hesitated before removing his clothing. Your eyes had widened when you saw his cock, half-erect. You weren’t the most experienced, but you had had sex before. You moved up so he could move behind you. There was nothing inherently sexual about it. Bucky made a move to massage your shoulders, pressing light kisses across them before soaping up a washcloth to help you clean up. The bath was mostly to help you relax, the scent of lavender and chamomile drifting around you. He took his time, gently washing around your breasts before moving lower. 

He had lifted you out of the bath, wrapping a towel around you before setting you on the counter and draining the tub. He brought you into his room, setting you on the bed. You kissed him first. Towels soon laid forgotten on the ground as Bucky moved you back on the bed, only parting from you to readjust the both of you to be more comfortable. His right hand drifted down your body, gently pulling at your thigh. You obliged by parting your legs. He kissed down your chest, taking time to tease both breasts as his fingers parted your folds, your wetness meeting them.

You had arched off the bed as he pressed one finger into you as he continued making his way down your body with his mouth. One finger wasn’t enough to bring you the relief for the growing fire inside you. If this was a sin, you never wanted to stop. He added a second finger as he reached your pussy, but he didn’t go where you had so desperately wanted him to. He kissed his way down one thigh and up the other as his fingers worked their way in and out. Your quiet whimpers had turned into full blown moans, begging for more. Bucky looked up at you with a smirk on his face.

“Tell me what you want, darling, and I’ll give you the world,” he promised. You begged to cum and he obliged, a third finger quickly joining the first two as his mouth finally made its way to your pussy. His tongue moved from your entrance up to your clit, swirling around the sensitive bud. Your moans hit a fever pitch. You swore you blacked out as you came. When you caught your breath, Bucky looked wrecked, wetness dripping from his face. He pulled you into a kiss, and you tasted yourself on his lips. You moved to get your lips around his cock, only to be stopped.

“Not tonight. Tonight is about you,” he had said. He pushed you to lay back. He lined himself up with your entrance and pushed in slowly, watching your expression as he did so. He didn’t move until you begged him to, the pace slow and sensual. You wrapped your legs around him, attempting to pull him closer. His lips met yours once more in a slow kiss. His pace picked up, but never to a brutal pace. He moaned out your name as if it was a prayer. Your second orgasm crashed over you as he moved one of his hands to play with your clit. The sensation pulled him over the edge with you. The two of you had laid still for a moment, catching your breath, before he pulled you into another kiss and whispered his love for you. 

You were pulled out of your reminiscing by a folder slamming down in front of you. It had been three months since you’d seen Bucky. He had left you three months prior. You had brought him as your date to a wedding in your hometown. It was when you got home that night that he had ended things. 

_ “Is everything okay?” you asked. Bucky shook his head. _

_ “I’m no good for you,” he said. _

_ “I think I should be the judge of that, don’t you?” you asked. He ran a hand through his hair. He was frustrated and that much was obvious.  _

_ “You don’t understand. I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is going to work out,” he said. You felt tears stinging your eyes. _

_ “And that’s it? You decide we’re done and we’re done? We’re not even going to talk about this?” you asked. _

_ “I’m sorry,” he said. You shook your head, the hand you had brought to your forehead in frustration dropping. _

_ “Yeah. So am I,” you said, walking out of his room and slamming the door.  _

You avoided him after that. It was easy when he took a long term mission with Sam and Wanda. You looked up at whoever had slammed the folder down, surprised to see Natasha.

“Tony said he needed you in conference room 5, something about going over new prototypes,” she said. You nodded. You were nose deep in the file as you walked in, not registering the locking of the door. Conference room 5 was the only conference room that had a voice activated lock that only Tony could access. You turned and saw him at the window with Natasha and Steve.

“What the hell?” you asked.

“You and the Soviet Freeze Pop are going to work out whatever problem you have with one another. FRIDAY isn’t recording, but she’s not letting you out until the two of you fix this,” Tony said. You turned and saw Bucky, with his jaw clenched, glaring at the trio. The blinds on the door closed, along with the ones on the windows surrounding the room. You knew it was sound proof. 

“James,” you said. 

“I have nothing to say,” he said. 

“Good. Because maybe now you’ll let me have a say in all of this. I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you. I don’t know why you feel like throwing us away is the answer at the first sign of trouble,” you said. You took him in, really took him in. He had cut his hair not long after you’d started dating, but it had started growing back in again. His beard was unkempt, which was unlike him. If he wasn’t clean shaven for some reason, he always took care of his beard, keeping it neat and tidy. He looked like he hadn’t handled things any better than you. Even with his mission, you knew he would have cleaned up. He had been back for a week. 

“I told you. I’m not good for you. If you knew what people said when they saw you with me. A good girl like you doesn’t belong with someone like me and everyone knows it,” he said.

“That’s what this is about? Bucky...James, look at me,” you said, as you made your way over to him, placing a hand on his cheek. Blue eyes met yours, not moving away from your face.

“I know what people say. And I don’t care. The people in my hometown...they’re small minded idiots who only accept what they see on TV as fact. They don’t think critically. If they took the time to get to know you, they’d see what I see. Someone who loves his friends deeply. Someone who would go to hell and back for the people he cares about. They’d see the man who will turn into an overexcited child the minute he sees any baby animal. They’d see the man who cried during P.S. I Love You and don’t you deny it, I still have the recording from FRIDAY,” you said. He glared at you, but it held no malice.

“I didn’t cry. My allergies were acting up,” he said. You shook your head.

“You, the super soldier who doesn’t get sick, totally the allergies you totally have,” you said, tapping his shoulder lightly. He smiled. 

“I do love you,” he said.

“I know. James...I don’t like being without you. I don’t like waking up without your kisses for a reason other than you being on a mission. I don’t like not talking to you,” you said.

“I don’t like it either, darling. Can we start over?” he asked. You didn’t verbalize a response. Instead you pulled him into a kiss. You heard the door unlock.

“Come on, I think we have a lot of making up to do,” you said, giving him a wink. He picked you up and you let out a shriek before laughing. Yeah. Things were going to be okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: jbbarnesnnoble.tumblr.com 
> 
> I often post on Tumblr first and then here!


End file.
